Izra's.

YAMI Yoghurt & Guy-Shopping.

2012-01-27T20:43:00.001+08:00

Had a stress-free session with Boyfriend after school, where we decided to hunt for his clothes for 17th February, where we intend to dedicate the day to ourselves by doing these things:

1. Enjoy dinner together at Fish & Co./Swensen's

2. Exchange new promise rings! Yay! Since I've lost the previous one... :(

3. Go on an all-out shopping trip! Hehehe

4. Cam-whore! I need someone to take a full-body photo of us! 3 years, and we have yet to have a full-body photo of us. It's always our stupid faces. Haha!

And better still, it's the last day of exam on that day, so double celebration!

Anyway, we managed to score a checkered blue button-down shirt from Bossini and a pair of slim-cut khakis from Giordano for a super-bargain price! I expect you to look good on that day, okay Syg? ;)

Oh, we tried YAMI Yoghurt for the first time just now! It is so damn nice can? I was in heaven the whole time! Hahaha! Gonna treat myself to this whenever I complete my assignments! :D

Mine: Blueberry Yoghurt with Strawberry Topping

His: Peach Yoghurt with Honeydew Topping

I've yet to find a dress for 17th February. Where can I get a cute one...

Back To Basics.

2012-01-24T22:15:00.000+08:00

Look at this goat's smile! Omg HAHAHA!

Spent a day at Bibik Esah's house at Pekan Nenas at Pontian, Johor Bahru yesterday. It was definitely a therapeutic experience, away from the bustling city. She possesses a zoo, literally, in the backyard of her house. There are so many animals, and please, tell me why the chickens loved to chase me. -.-

Spent most of the afternoon yesterday swinging on a swing set and feeding the animals. It was a good unwind session, and it helped to calm my fucked-up mind. That was something I really needed. Had fun exploring Bibik Esah's house, looking at black-and-white photos of herself, her late husband and her daughter, Fauziah Latiff (yes, the 90s singer is my aunt!). I definitely look forward to our next visit! :)

I've been borrowing a lot of Mummy's maxi dresses lately. They look absolutely gorgeous, especially when paired with a cute pair of wedges or heels! ♥

Let me end off with a photo of my loving husband, Orlando Bloom:

And yes, that's my son, Flynn Christopher Bloom! Hehehe :D

Smiling has never been this difficult.

Fuck My Fucking Miserable Life.

2012-01-21T07:54:00.000+08:00

I feel as though I have reached a dead end. I don't know what else to do, I have never been this miserable in my life before. More than anything else, I am grateful that my parents are always there to support me. My dad cancelled his dialysis session just to be by my side and cursed at the people there, my mum fought for me, and my little brother cried when he saw me crying. Even my other brother showed his concern by repeatedly calling to ask if everything's alright. Ya Allah, I have been blessed with such a beautiful family. Protect all of them from harm, it's the least that I can ask from You when I'm this stressed. My family means the world to me, I would do anything for them. I would even jump down from any building without hesitation, just anything, to be with my family.

I don't know what else to do. I don't know how else I can study in a situation like this. I've totally lost all my motivation. And all these while, I've been studying my fucking ass off just to be one of the top students and graduate from this motherfucking asshole school as soon as possible. All along, I knew that choosing to come to this fucking school was the ultimate wrong move. FML.

Problems after problems. I know that Allah won't give me a burden that I wouldn't be able to handle, but I don't think I'm strong enough to handle it this time around. I've crumbled to pieces, I've never felt so much hatred in my heart.

You wanna mess with my academic future, you're gonna have to deal with me. After all these years, you wanna dramatically mess it up just because of one motherfucking incident? I would never sign those documents, over my DEAD body. I'm gonna fight till the very end, I'll fight for my future. No one messes up my life like this, and get away with it.

And for people who have no idea what is going on in my life right now, I suggest you back off and not arrive at stupid conclusions. Your thoughts and opinions are not needed. You don't even have to try to figure out what is the problem is. Your predictions and guesses won't even come close. Because these kind of problems, only happen to motherfucking suay people like me.

This Better Be Worth It.

2012-01-05T21:54:00.001+08:00

This does not include another 5 laminated sheets that I was unable to find at that point of time. FML.

I spent 3/4 of my day cutting 25 sheets of laminated stuff for my Learning Corner. And my thumb is now all red and I can see the blister already! Oh god, what have I done? :( I have never spent so much time, effort and money on something that I doubt the children will appreciate. :'( I am so going to buy myself a laminating machine after this! I'm broke as fuck, anyone wants to donate money to me? If only money falls from the sky...

I'm trying so hard to tell myself to relax, despite the intense pressure I'm feeling right now. Assignments are all in my face, I'm so lost! Since learning to relax and not be so caught up in my assignments is part of my New Year's resolution, I have been spending time on Tumblr periodically and eating apples. LOL! And it's not helping when I see all the ridiculous tasks I have to do for the e-learning week! Like, seriously? -.-

Greetings From Melbourne, Australia.

2012-01-04T22:11:00.001+08:00

Hehe look at what my cousin's girlfriend bought for me! It's a souvenir collection from Melbourne, Australia! She has finally completed and gained her Masters Degree in Human Resources, and flew back to Singapore after 3 years of studying abroad in Melbourne. I can just imagine the smile on my cousin's face when he finally saw her at the airport! :)

Speaking of studying abroad, I would love to be given a chance to travel and experience the world one day. If only I have the money though! I love watching documentaries on television. TLC channel 427 (StarHub) is especially my favorite! Beautiful sceneries, exotic beaches and food (LOTS of it!!!) from various countries! I absolutely adore it hehehe ♥

Gonna sleep earlier tonight. The kindergarteners were really a handful today, I felt like screaming! Good night! :D

When I'm Bored.

2012-01-01T19:48:00.003+08:00

I am bored. So I thought I'd entertain myself this way:

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do youthink they meant it?

I really hope so! Do you, my Dear? :)
2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

LOL why not? :D
3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

Can't really remember? :/
4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

I do, actually! If I'm in a really good mood, that is.
5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

I really hope not!
6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

We Found Love - Rihanna. We definitely found love in a hopeless place.
7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

LOL just a stripey t-shirt and denim shorts? :)
8. How often do you listen to music?

Every single day. I'd suffer withdrawal symptoms if I don't!
9. Do you wear shorts or sweats more?

Definitely shorts.
10. Do you think your life will change dramatically in 2012?

Umm.. If it changes dramatically for the better, why not? I'll leave that to Allah.
11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

The cruel world has made me into an antisocial person!
12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?

Sadly, no. :(
13. What about ‘R’?

LOL no!
14. Can you drive a stick shift?

Nope. Wait till I drive the Volvo XC90! ♥♥♥
15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

I do. It hurts my feelings you know. Unless what they're saying about me is true.
16. Are you going out of town soon?

I'm flying off to Laos this March! OMGOMGOMG!
17. When was the last time you cried?

Last week? Too stressed -.-
18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

Every single day ♥
19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

Can I have dark brown eyes? :)
20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

It depends on what I'm supposed to do. But when it comes to my Dad, I'd do anything for him.
21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

I'm stuck working on my Learning Corner. It's New Year's Day, for goodness sake! :(
22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

Definitely one of the cutest things a guy can do for his girl ;)
23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

LOL my mum? HAHAHAHAHAH
24. What are you sitting on right now?

Computer chairrrr.
25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

My BF.
26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

STORY OF MY LIFE, don't get me started! From older men (2.5X older!) to crazy obsessions...

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

My mum. She was counting down the New Year in bed -.-
28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Nope not really.
29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

Some thrift store. Only $3.90. Cheapo.
30. Does anyone hate you?

Don't get me started on this!
31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

I don't intend to get drunk anytime soon.
32. Do you like watching scary movies?

MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE!!! ♥
33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

Ouch no!
34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

2009. Horrible year for me.
35. Did you have a dream last night?

Nope nope.
36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Last night? :D
37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Married at 23? Heck no! I wanna get married at 26 :)
38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

My BF? :D And probably Zayn Malik loves me too LOLOLOLOLOL ^^
39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

Zayn Malik. Hehehehehehe ^^
40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

I guess so? Had a Tumblr party, ate a lot, my life is blissful, ya know.
41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

Yep yep.
42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

Probably on the way home from Geylang with JingXin. Geylang LOLOLOLOL ^^
43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

My BF?
44. What’s the best part about school?

Sleeping during lectures.
45. Do you have any pictures in your room?

Yep yep.
46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

When we're gossiping. :D
47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

All the time. I tend to overthink.
48. Were you single over the last year?

Nope nope!
49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

Sadly no. I'm trying to gain it all back. Precious memories.
50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

Work on my Learning Corner. But I'm currently finding a fuck to give.
51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

My little brother? Meh, his chubby cheeks are too cute :D
52. Are you nice to everyone?

If you're nice to me, I'll be hell yes nice towards you.
53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Definitely. (2.5X older HAHAHA!)
54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Duh.
55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

I'm an expert at it, maybe I can take up acting.
56. Do you think you like someone?

Don't get me started on my endless crushesssss!
57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?

You mean Justin Bieber? :D HEHEHEEHEHEEHEHE
58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

Boys. Less drama, more fun.
59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

LOL yes.
60. Do you hate anyone?

Don't get me started on this. Bitches love to fling themselves at me and stir up my life, tell me why.
61. How’s your heart?

Content.
62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Yes definitely. It pains me to even think about it.
63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

Yes.
64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

Some random bitch.
65. Are your toenails painted pink?

LOL no.
66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

I hope not. :)
67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

No! It's the most painful thing ever, to watch a guy cry. Been there, done that.
68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

Do unzipped pants and skirts count?
69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

My mum. Asked me if I wanted to have lunch :D
70. How do you look right now?

Crappy, but au naturel. :)
71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

My family, my closest friends, my BF.
72. Can you commit to one person?

Definitely. Crushes and love are 2 different things.
73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

My BF. And my godbrothers.
74. Have you ever felt replaced?

Sometimes. When people forget about me. I hate that.
75. Did you wake up cranky?

LOL I woke up quite happily this morning.
76. Are you a jealous person?

I can get jealous very easily. :(
77. Are relationships ever worth it?

Definitely. It's one of the best things in my teenage years.
78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

Currently no.
79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

My BF. Why you so busy working? :( And my cliques.
80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

Work on my Learning Corner. FML.
81. Last person you cried in front of?

My BF. Couldn't contain my tears any longer. :(
82. Is there someone you will never forget?

The people who have walked out of my life when I needed them.
83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

Hehe very protective. :)
84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doingright now?

Ask him to help me with my Learning Corner. LOL. Make use of available resources! hehe
85. Are you over your past?

I guess so. The past haunts me occasionally.
86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

Haha no. They're like brothers to me.
87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

Sadly, no.
88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents,would you accept?

I wouldn't give up a 3-year relationship for a moment of weakness from my past.
89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM;do you let them in?

I'd scold him. WHY YOU WAKE ME UP AT 3AM?! :D
90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

Nope nope.
91. Will you still be in a relationship in 2 months?

Insya Allah, yes.
92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

Haha no!
93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

Err no. -.-
94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

I was, and I still am? -.- It's going strong? LOL. I miss him. :(
95. Were you happy with him last March?

Yes definitely.
96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

Hehehe of course! ♥
97. Who do you have texts from?

From people who actually care.
98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

FUCK YOU GET OUT OF MY LIFE!
99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yessssss.
100. Who’s in your room with you?

I'm all alone. Anyone wanna join me? :D
101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

Nooooo. But I'd love to!
102. Any relationship advice?

Trust, understanding, communication and love. Without all these, everything will fall apart.

Bring It On, 2012!

2012-01-01T01:10:00.001+08:00

A new year has begun, and here I am, having a date with my laptop. How I wish I'm partying my ass off in some club right now!!! FML.

2011 has been a painfully memorable year for me. I experienced so much in a year, it's amazing how I managed to take it all in. I faced times when I just didn't want to live anymore, where death seems like the only option to deal with the pain I felt. But I'm glad I managed to pull through it all. For those who had made my life difficult, I'm happy to tell you that you have only made me stronger. I know what I'm capable of, and you're not gonna be able to tear me down that easily anymore.

Why you ask? At times when I didn't have anyone to confide in, Allah has always been there for me. I remember sobbing so terribly in my prayers. I remember how I trembled with emotional pain as I prayed. And now, looking back, I realized Allah has been there for me all along, He gave me strength by putting me through various setbacks in life. I've now accepted setbacks as part of my life (I'm really suay haha!), and I always remember to praise Him whenever something good happens! :)

So what are my new year's resolutions? Not much really. Here goes:

1. Lose weight

2. Exercise as much as I can

3. Maintain my GPA (this is gonna be difficult)

4. Volunteer somewhere

5.Don't take life too seriously

6. Get out of my comfort zone

7. Be optimistic!

Insya Allah, I'll be able to stick to these, although I need a lot of perseverance! I'm planning to lose weight till I'm 40kg. Call me insane, but I feel fat right now. I feel as though my thighs are huge, and my tummy is bloody round. I'm tired of feeling exhausted all the time. It's time to get back to my old self, where my stamina is very good, I can run 2.4km without feeling tired at all! And I intend to take life less seriously, this includes not worrying about all those little problems! I miss my carefree days, where I worked hard, and played even harder. Back then, my life was all about taking risks, I miss doing that!

Let me end off with my 2 new affairs. They are very handsome guys, mind you!

Zayn Malik (WHY YOU SO SEXY I WANT TO DIE ALREADY JUST LOOK AT THOSE EYES MARRY ME BABY!)

Pasha from Ungu. Your hair UNFFF!

Extreme sexual frustration over these 2 guys! UNFFFFFF ♥

Happy 2012 guys! :D
Cheers to a memorable year ahead!

Mummy & Daddy's 20th Wedding Anniversary.

2011-12-30T00:01:00.001+08:00

I have been reunited with the love of my life: WAFFLE POTATO!

This is super candid. MY EYES HAHAHA!

Chocolate Volcano!

I bought a pair of grey Toms shoes! YAY! ♥

Celebrated my parents' 20th wedding anniversary as a family in Johor, Malaysia. It's been such a long time since we spent time together as a family, and I truly appreciate it. ;)

I've learnt a lot of love lessons from my mum and dad. They are a real-life example of a couple who has been through hell and back together. They have survived so many obstacles, even till now. So many tears have been shed, yet so many beautiful memories have been created. I've learnt how it's all about making sacrifices in the name of love. I have made major mistakes, yet they refuse to see me differently, my Daddy still calls me "my only baby girl" and my mum pampers me so much. I truly love them, more than anything else in this world. I wouldn't exist in this world without them, I was born into this world because of them. They have done so much to raise me, and I will be eternally grateful for them. I will make you proud of me, I promise.

Because there's nothing more satisfying than seeing your parents genuinely happy, and knowing you're the reason behind their smiles. ♥

Bundle of Joy.

2011-12-23T18:41:00.000+08:00

A video of baby Eshan playing with bubbles. Cuteness overload! ♥

Baby Eshan came over today, as his mummy has work to attend to, and there was no one else available to take care of him. Oh my god, he's such a handful! Super active boy! But that's the way I like it. If I have baby boys, I would want them to be very active, and rugged as well. So that means exposing them to soccer at a very young age! Hehe! Anyway, it was really exhausting to take care of him, but seeing his super cute smile makes it all worth it. ;)

Brought him along to Lot One in the afternoon, where Mummy bought anniversary rings for Daddy and herself as their wedding anniversary gift. It's their 20th wedding anniversary this 29th December! ♥

I'm beat. Gonna snuggle in bed now, with a cup of hot chocolate! ^^

Sambal Belacan.

2011-12-22T21:51:00.001+08:00

I laughed so hard when I saw this purple long thing (what the heck is it called?!). Life is always better when you have a dirty mind! XD

Earlier this evening, I learnt to make Sambal Belacan. It tastes so awesome, I think I have magic hands haha! Plus, Mummy cooked curry fish today, so...

Curry Fish + Sambal Belacan = Orgasm (X 100)

I'm totally full. So much for going on a crash diet, huh? -.-

Outburst of Happiness.

2011-12-22T16:26:00.002+08:00

Hehehe today I borrowed a new book! It's "Life Begins", a novel written by Amanda Brookfield. Gonna review it when I'm done reading. So glad I'm back into reading, for now. I've always been a bookworm, it's just that my busy schedule never permits me to find time to indulge in novels. :(

Went to collect assignments today, surprisingly scored A+ for both group and individual! Totally wasn't expecting it!!! I was so prepared to receive a decent D. Haha! But yeah, alhamdulillah. ;) Maybe I should continue doing work last minute LOL. I completed the lesson plans a day before it's due. LOLOLOLOL!

Went back to my attachment centre afterwards. I'm forever going back and forth to this attachment centre LOL. Going back there again on Monday to discuss my lesson plans and learning centre with my mentor and class teacher. This is so exhausting. -.- Call me kiasu for getting my stuff settled earlier, but I'd rather be kiasu than ignorant! :D

Boyfriend's busy with work, so I'm abandoned all alone these days. I'm a lonely girl LOL! The good thing is, I can focus on my assignments from this week onwards hehe! But still, I miss you baby. :(

Beef Soup & A Remarkable Read.

2011-12-20T20:31:00.001+08:00

Mummy cooked Beef Soup today, yummy yummy yummy! ^^ Met up with Kaiying to get the Take-Home kit, and went to my attachment centre to submit it. Was so nervous about talking to the parents, but the teacher-in-charge kindly offered to pass it to the chosen parents on my behalf. I felt like hugging her for it! Haha!

This is one of the most amazing books that I have ever read! It revolves around a woman named Ava, who has a lot of things to juggle in her life, and she begins to doubt her duties as a wife, friend, colleague and daughter as she faces constant problems and setbacks in her life.

1. Her husband is too involved in his work as a bar manager, he hardly has time for her.

2. Her father falls in love with a pole dancer (HAHAHA!!!) and wishes to marry her

3. Her younger daughter, Sarah is unmanageable, yet full of confidence, humor and wit.

4. Her older daughter, Alison, suffers from anorexia as a result of high expectations

Surprisingly, I relate very well to Sarah. I know what it's like to fight for your parents' attention, just because your other siblings get more attention than you do. I know what it's like to feel jealous, when your parents dote on your siblings more than they do on you. I know what it's like to feel left out, especially with all the extra attention your siblings get. I know what it's like to lose every argument, just because your parents believe in your siblings than you. I cried as I read the story, I've never been able to relate to a character so well, because it speak 90% of my life. An excerpt from the book will forever leave me an impression:

"Everything is about Alison right now. It has always been about her. She gets all the attention. I don't. If Alison is your pride and joy, what am I?" - Sarah

I'm Being So Hard On Myself.

2011-12-19T18:29:00.000+08:00

I promise to find it. It means a lot to me, and I'm really frustrated with myself right now for misplacing it. Why can't you be mad at me for this? Why are you acting all calm? Why do you keep reassuring me that it's okay? Don't you see, how upset I am right now? To be losing something so close to my heart, something I've always adored and proud of to don it. I'm gonna keep finding it, and if I don't, I know that I won't ever be able to forgive myself for this.

Sweet Sour Fish & Sickness.

2011-12-18T19:39:00.001+08:00

Helped my mum cook Sweet Sour Fish for dinner just now, and it looks absolutely scrumptious, don't cha think? ;)

Too bad I can't enjoy the taste fully, I'm having a really bad sore throat, flu and a high fever. All these stress has finally affected my health! Urgh! Been throwing up a lot ( I hope it's not another shot of stomach flu, I had enough of that!). And to top it all off, my period has decided to surprise me. So you can hell yes bet that I am feeling utter shitty right now! :(

On the bright side, it's gonna be a chilly night tonight. Perfect weather to snuggle with my blanket and teddies. ♥

Useless Term Break.

2011-12-17T21:00:00.000+08:00

If only I had a bright pink room, my life would be complete. Hehe!

Term break is FINALLY here! It's been a rough start to this really tough semester, I was literally drowning! Useless lecturers and piles of assignments are making it so hard to survive this semester! But thankfully, term break is here to let me have a breather. That said, I have so many assignments due afterwards, I DON'T EVEN SEE THE POINT OF HAVING A BLOODY TERM BREAK!

Gonna break down my tasks tomorrow, and slowly work on it. I can't even enjoy my holidays! My life sucks TTM. I'm thoroughly broke, bloody hell. And seeing all those insanely-tempting sales everywhere is making me so miserable, I swear I'm gonna lock myself in my room out of misery, anytime soon. :'(

The greatest thing that can possibly happen to me right now is finding a huge sum of money HAHAHA! Call me greedy, but honestly, money makes me happy. GENUINELY HAPPY.

Betty Crocker's Buttermilk Pancakes.

2011-12-11T14:24:00.001+08:00

I'm gonna make some pancakes later! Hehehe ♥ Bought this at NTUC yesterday, and I intend to have this for tea-time later, spread with tons of Nutella! Everyone's out, and I'm stuck alone at home, working on my seemingly-endless assignments. What a happening life I have! -.- Would really appreciate the 3 weeks breaks, definitely!

Currently reading through the interviews questions for the assessment tomorrow, whilst waiting for the washing machine to be done with the clothes. Shall do laundry later, and fold clothes afterwards. And when that is done, shall head over to NTUC to buy ingredients for my fried rice (lunch tomorrow!). And work on the take-home kit as well. And if time permits, I shall go out for a run in the park! I miss sprinting my way through running sessions before I got lazy. Haha! My brother told me to lose weight, and I can't help wondering: How fucking skinny should I be?! I'm currently 42kg, and my BMI is already borderline underweight, and he thinks I'm fat. WALAO FUCK THIS BASTARD! If I were to lose weight, I'll be skin and bones!!! :'( I'm usually content with the way my body is, but consistent remarks about me being fat affects me all the time. I HATE IT! Seriously, am I that fat? :O If I am fat, what about all those people who are wayyyyyyyyyy heavier than me?!

If you have nothing better to say, it's better if you shut the fuck up. I'm already wearing XS sizes for most of my clothings, I don't know how fucking thin I should be!!! Skin and bones are UGLY. I feel I'm already healthy enough with the way I currently am. Bastard.

Abang Bob's & Kakak Shima's Wedding.

2011-12-05T07:53:00.001+08:00

Shall not say much here, I'm really tired! But let the pictures do the talking! Enjoy! ♥

Life's Unfair.

2011-11-28T20:56:00.001+08:00

“They say having Allah on your side is like sailing (smoothly) on the ocean with no waves (and no worries). But truly if you have Allah on your side, there will be storms, there will be waves, but no amount of storms will sink your ship if Allah is with you.”

I can barely get through this. My eyes are so swollen from all the crying that I did. Why me? Why is it always me? So many people out there can easily get away with what they've done, why can't I be like that, for once? Right now, my mind is a shitty mess. I can't think straight, I can't even do assignments. I feel like just giving up. On everything. I can't even cry anymore right now. Thanks so much JingXin, for always being there for me! Thanks for all your tissues, sorry I used so many of it! I think I'm gonna need more of your tissues in the days to come, unless the bitchy girl wants to settle this fast. :( And to my dearest Boyfriend, sorry I sobbed like a lunatic in front of you just now. Couldn't contain my tears any longer. :'( Thanks for wiping my tears away, for staying put even when I pushed you away, and heartlessly scratched you hard. I'm so sorry. :( Thanks so much for putting up with this troublesome girl. ♥

I don't know how much longer I can take all these, before I finally give up, for real...

Future Babies.

2011-11-27T21:13:00.001+08:00

HI EVERYONE, THIS IS MY FUTURE BABY. Hehehehehe! I had so much fun playing around with this website, predicting what my future baby is gonna look like. Super cute right? LOLOLOLOL! I sure wish my future son is gonna look like this. -.-

And this is my baby with Robert Pattinson! OMG WHY IS MY BABY SO CUTE?! HAHAHAHAHA!

And this is my baby girl with Enrique Iglesias! So pretty HEHEHEHE!

So go create your future babies now! It's so much fun, I was laughing so mad at some of the predictions! :D

www.makemebabies.com

Breaking Dawn Was Awesome!

2011-11-25T06:34:00.001+08:00

Breaking Dawn is absolutely beautiful, it is definitely the best Twilight movie so far! The wedding scene was exactly how I pictured it: perfect. Bella looked beautiful, while Edward looked so perfect in his black suit, and perfect smile and sex-hair. Although I don't really like Bella's wedding dress. The dress's back details are interesting, but I think the overall dress was bleh. Too plain for someone who is marrying a vampire. Haha! Plus, the kissing scene after they both say their marriage vows was PERFECT! The kiss was so romantic and sweet, I was trying so hard not to cry!!! My eyes were all watery, I could just feel their love through the screen! Love it so much! ♥

The honeymoon scene was definitely worth watching. How they tried to make it work the first night, the games they played, and how Bella tried to seduce Edward by posing in the black lingerie that Alice packed for her. I laughed out loud so hard at that! All Edward did was burst out laughing at her HAHAHA! The sex scene was sweet, and not over-the-top. Bella was constantly assuring him that she's doing fine, and they're gonna be alright. It's super super sweet, I was jelly by then! Edward's body was YUMMY! :D A lot of kissing and stuff I LOVE IT!

Bella's pregnancy days were painful to watch. She was super skinny, but it was filled with funny moments due to stinky werewolf Jacob. Bella struggled to stay alive, but when Edward was able to read the baby's thoughts in her tummy, he finally relented and talked to the baby and kissed her tummy. It was so sweet!!! The birth scene was gory though. Rosalie cut Bella's tummy in an attempt to get the writhing baby out, whereas Edward used his teeth to rip her womb apart. Eww! When he finally held the baby in his arms, IT WAS SO PERFECT I WANTED TO CRY AGAIN! The post-birth scene was so touching, in which Bella's heart stopped working, and Edward was biting her all over in hope that his venom would transform her into a vampire. It ended with Bella opening her eyes, which were red in colour.

I think the movie was absolutely perfect, it stayed true to the book! Reneesme was super super cute! It's the best Twilight movie ever, and the kissing scenes are definitely the most passionate. Worth watching!!!

Today's The Day!

2011-11-24T12:52:00.001+08:00

My face is exactly like Taylor's right now!! OMG JUST A FEW MORE HOURS LEFT TILL I WATCH THE LOVE OF MY LIFE ON THE BIG SCREEN. I CANNOT WAIT ANY LONGER I THINK I'M GONNA PEE!! OMG OMG OMG! SOMEONE CALM ME DOWN!!

Thick Hair Is Not Good.

2011-11-23T23:42:00.001+08:00

OMG I have such thick hair, someone help me!

Platform Sandals.

2011-11-19T21:08:00.001+08:00

OMG I have finally bought the pair of platform sandals that I've always wanted! Bought it for only $12 at Lot 1's pasar malam. Cheap or what? :D And it's super comfortable too! Worth the buy ^^

Gotta complete my DDAC assignment tomorrow. Sucks to be working on assignments on Sundays, the world always seems to be having so much fun on Sundays. :( But since I didn't complete my assignment today (totally no mood for it), I'll have no choice but to complete it tomorrow. I swear Guna's driving me crazy with her fucking crazy requirements, I wanna throw this assignment in her face when I'm done with it! She is so particular! Pfft. I'm barely breathing this semester, I wanT it to be over soon. But something in school makes it all worth it HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE. Something that makes me look forward to school every day! Hehe! :P

24 NOVEMBER IS COMING SOON, I CANNOT WAIT ANY LONGER!!! I waited one and a half years for Breaking Dawn to premiere, I am going to scream during the movie! :D Kill me with your handsomeness, Edwarddddddddddddddd. ♥

My throat is super sore from all the screaming I did during the Celebration Fiesta last evening. It was unexpectedly exciting, can?! :D I was screaming my head off (as though I'm the one participating LOL). I've never felt so high HAHAHAHA! ^^

Chocolate Brownies.

2011-11-19T12:34:00.001+08:00

Look at what my mum's friend brought over! Chocolate brownies!!! *tears of joy* It's so beautiful I wanna preserve it LOLOLOLOL. Gobbled it down and now I'm superrr satisfied. :D

Planned to make some apple cookies this afternoon, but turns out my cake mixer is broken. I AM SO SAD RIGHT NOW, NO COOKIES FOR ME. :'(

Dim The Lights.

2011-11-18T22:21:00.001+08:00

I AM IN NEED OF THIS. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEH I'M SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, I CAN BARELY THINK STRAIGHT!

Mee Soup.

2011-11-12T23:09:00.001+08:00

OMG my first attempt at cooking Mee Soup was a success! Hehehehe I am so tired right now (from assignments), so I don't want to linger here any longer. So admire my Mee Soup, will ya? Hehehe!

Another Year Has Passed.

2011-11-07T19:58:00.001+08:00

Hehehehehehehe! Boyfriend fetched me from home this morning, and we went to East Coast Park to spend some time together. Chilled on the beach for a while, and had lunch after that. And cycled (really cycled!) afterwards on a double-seater bike. We cycled from Area C to Area A, and from Area A to Area F, and from Area F back to Area C. I AM SO EXHAUSTED! Ended up with sunburnt skin (hello uneven skin tone!) and sore legs. But we had fun, didn't we? :D All we did was quarrel and whine throughout our cycling LOL.

Happy 3 years anniversary my Dear! We've created countless beautiful memories together, and I cherish every single moment spent with you. You brighten up my gloomy days, and push me to strive on. You've taught me to never give up, and that I should always be optimistic. Thanks for loving me for who I really am, and never trying to change me into someone I'm not. Thanks for showering me with lots of love, and making me your Princess.

I'll love you forever, forever and always. Be it the good, the bad or the ugly. ♥

Butter Cookies & Paranormal Activity 3.

2011-11-05T19:25:00.001+08:00

I want to cry tears of joy. My first attempt at baking is a complete success! I didn't explode the kitchen, though. :D I baked butter cookies today, and although I messed up here and there, the cookies are absolutely delicious. Hehehe! It has a perfect combination of sweet and buttery flavor, and I absolutely love it. Hehehe I want to make other kinds of cookies! I think I've found my new hobby! :)

This movie is HELL SCARY SHIT. Watched it with Boyfriend last evening, and all I wanted to do was to just die in my seat. I've never felt so terrified! I used Boyfriend as my comfort spot and covered my eyes with my hands 80% of the time during the movie I WAS SO PATHETIC! It left me scared shitless and until now, I still get goosebumps whenever I recall the scenes. :( Which concludes how scary the movie was for me! :(

Sleepiness.

2011-10-27T09:12:00.000+08:00

Love these moments the best. Hugging sessions! Hehehehehehehehehe ♥

Had to skip school today, as I need to take care of my little brother. Sigh. He's not awake yet, for now. Need to ensure he eats, showers, packs his schoolbag, test him on his spelling, and get the household chores done. But shall linger on the Internet for a while now. :P After that, gonna meet my ever-so-high manager, Min Latt, along with JingXin. Sorry for leaving you today, girl! I owe you one! :) We'll probably have Min Latt's favorite coffee session, and he'll get so high again. LOL.

Shall go on Tumblr for now. I better keep track of time, my brother needs to wake up by 10am. -.-

MiO MiO MiO!

2011-10-23T17:11:00.002+08:00

I'm so bored right now! There's a SingTel salesman in my living room, convincing my parents to switch from StarHub cable to MiO TV. Hehe! I'm just attracted to the great offer.

Fastest Internet Connection (200 something-something-speed) + MiO TV package = $95 per month

Well this is a bit cheaper than our current StarHub subscription, in which we pay $105 for our own wireless Internet connection and StarHub cable TV. Either way, I'm not paying for it, so yeah. XD

I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO WEAR TO SCHOOL TOMORROW. Bought a pink floral long-sleeved shirt and a fuschia-pink sweater-like shirt yesterday but I don't wanna wear it just yet.. What is wrong with me. -.- And I told myself to cut on lunch from next week onwards, for 2 main reasons:

1. I'm going on a diet.

2. I wanna save money to buy some sandals.

Sucks to be independent for your wants and desires, but I guess I have learnt something important all this time, and that is money does not drop from the sky. It's a good thing my parents make me chase after what I want, and they never reward me with anything, even after I've done really well in my studies. But surprisingly, that always drives me to work even harder. I don't even understand myself sometimes. -.-

Off to eat Curry Beef that Mummy has cooked. Hehehe. I can't survive without her dishes. ♥

Butterflies In My Tummy.

2011-10-22T12:14:00.000+08:00

Thanks so much for bearing with my naggy-ness last evening Syg. I don't know why, it was probably due to the overwhelming amount of irritation I felt in school yesterday. :( Thanks for proving me wrong when I said that you couldn't carry me across the carpark. LOL. You totally just swept me off my feet and carried me away HAHAHA! Now that's my boy! :) Thanks for understanding me enough to acknowledge my feelings and offering hugs to make me feel better. I'm so lucky to have you by my side unconditionally. ♥

Oh yes, changed my Tumblr URL already. If you're following me already, it will redirect you to the new URL. But if you're not, too bad. HAHAHA. And no, I won't give you the link to my new Tumblr site either. Ask me personally if you really wanna know! Coz my Tumblr is totally very personal and I don't want unwanted people to stalk it.

Gonna makes notes for the lessons I had this week. And after that, heading out. Toodles! ♥

Shut Up, Dude.

2011-10-21T22:23:00.001+08:00

I don't like to be called names or be made fun of. You barely know me, so back off. Jerk. You're lucky I told myself to let the matter go. But I'll never forget what you said. I don't wanna see you again. You fucker.

A Thousand Years.

2011-10-19T11:40:00.003+08:00

It's such a beautiful soundtrack for Breaking Dawn Part 1, and I absolutely love it. I was crying when I listened to it, it's absolutely beautiful. Enjoy! ♥

I Can't Do This.

2011-10-18T21:58:00.000+08:00

The first 2 days of school was well... I don't even have a word for it. I'm so tired and sick of everything. I'm torn between what is socially polite and standing up for my rights. I really don't know what to do. How am I supposed to react to all these? My heart is hurting so badly, can you stop to think about how I feel? I've never struggled so hard to enjoy being in school. When in fact, I'd do anything to get out of this course right now.

I miss the life I used to live back then. The kind of life that placed me in the front line most of the time. How I miss cheering and shouting like mad during my CCA events and basketball matches. I miss my squadmates, my friends and the once-so-familiar surroundings. I miss attending countless leadership camps and having seemingly-endless fun. I miss staying up during camps, and telling ghost stories in the dark. I miss doing NPCC drills, where U06 developed an unbreakable bond between us all. Can I have my old life back? I was so active back then, my CCA record was beyond wonderful! I was so fit, I had enviable hardcore abs, I was very healthy and genuinely happy. I led my juniors alongside my squadmates, and we had so much fun organizing events and games.

But look at me now. I'm dealing with shit on a daily basis. My friends are living the life I used to live. I'm no longer cheering and all those shit. Instead, shit gets thrown my way every single day. I can't do this. I just can't. I tried to be strong, but I can't lie to myself. I'm just anticipating the moment I break apart. It's all too much for me.

Ya Allah, give me the strength to overcome all these. I can't do this alone. I need Your guidance, because only You know what's best for me.

I Dream Of Waffle Potato.

2011-10-16T18:02:00.000+08:00

Went out with JingXin yesterday, and we window-shopped at Plaza Singapura. It's been such a long time since I've set foot in there! I don't recall the mall being that big. -.- Anyway, had lunch at Pastamania. I have been craving for pasta for the past few days! Hehe! Ate Meatballs Pasta (my utter favorite) and waffle potato, whereas JingXin ate Chicken Bolognese and chicken wings. We gossiped, ranted, and whined all the way. LOL that's what we always do. -.- After a scrumptious lunch, walked around the mall and bought the above stuff. My hair clips are so cute, especially the polka dot bow clip! And of course, bought this month's Seventeen issue. All the prom stuff in it makes me want to fast forward to Prom Night. ^^

Spent quite some time in a bookshop called Times, browsing through various books. I wanna go to Paris for my honeymoon! But yeah, if I can't go there, can I at least go to Phuket or Bali, future husband (wherever you are)? :D Oh oh, went in Build-A-Bear shop. All the teddies are so cute, I'm gonna cry. T__T

I want one for myself! :( *hint hint* Spent some time cruising through shops like Spotlight, before having dinner at Long John Silver's and having my Daddy pick us up and send us home. ^^

Tomorrow's the first day of school, OMFG. There goes my sleep, say hello to eye-bags, pimples, sunken eyes (God forbid!) and unruly hair! :( But yeah, told myself I'm gonna work even harder this semester, I'm unstoppable. :D Reminders for myself:

1. Maintain my currently-wonderful GPA. ♥

2. Eat breakfast before school every morning.

3. Do not sleep during lectures/tutorials. (Buy mints)

4. Remember to bring my cardigan at all times. I kept freezing myself last semester.

5. Carry a water bottle to school everyday. Hydration is important.

6. Cut back on junk food when I'm stressed.

7. Get my work done ahead of time.

8. Revise constantly. (This is worth laughing HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

9. Exercise when there's time. Fitness is key.

10. Make notes while there's still time. (Don't wanna rush making notes during exam study break!)

So there! Hopefully, I will keep reminding myself of these pointers, and be able to survive this upcoming semester. I don't know what to expect, seriously. But one thing's for sure, the pressure and stress level is gonna increase. That's unavoidable, right? Hoepfully, Allah gives me the strength to overcome any obstacles, insya Allah. :)

Regrets.

2011-10-13T19:40:00.001+08:00

Hehehehehe went to meet Qaisurah today! Chatted over lunch, and it is genuinely wonderful to hear that you're having a good time in JC. I am so jealous. If only I had picked the JC route, maybe I would have more fun too! I miss chatting with her terribly, I was trying to hold back my tears the whole time. :'(

Every decision I make always has its consequences. I can't even make the right decision for my education. What kind of person am I? I would do anything, simply anything, to turn back time and take the JC route instead. Believe it or not, I am more of an academic person, and no matter how much I deny it, my brain enjoys indulging in textbooks, tests and exams. Everything appears to be beautiful on the surface, and that was what drew me into the course that I am in today. But now, to me, this course is utter shit because I no longer have any interest towards it. I'm just staying for the sake of staying. In other words, I'm just wasting my time here. FML.

I Love You, Nutella.

2011-10-12T21:40:00.000+08:00

Look at what I had for dinner just now! It's a tiny bowl of rice. I was forced to eat this tiny bowl of rice for dinner, as my mum thinks I eat too much nowadays. And now I'm hungry! But it's okay. I'm gonna sneak in a large jar of Nutella into my room and indulge in it! Heheheh ^^

I was laughing so hard at my mum's story about her past experiences with men. She was literally bragging to me about all the guys that were crazy about her in the past. I was like, "Why am I even listening to this?" She told me how she loved to break their hearts (She confessed that she was a playgirl OMG WHAT), and how she was torn between 3 guys (including my Dad) before finally deciding to marry my Dad at the age of 19. MUMMY WHY YOU MARRY SO EARLY? -.- I can't imagine myself getting married next year (since I'm turning 19 then)! I'm only an immature kid who loves nothing but eating and shopping, and I guess I'll stay that way in years to come. Hehe!

Gonna meet up with Qaisurah tomorrow HEHEHEHEHEHE. I miss her so much! I'm a happy girl, for now. :D

Controlled Spending.

2011-10-10T17:48:00.000+08:00

Went to Lot One for a while and bought several things. Bought a nail treatment bottle, my nails are so weak nowadays. Hopefully this solution strengthens my nails! Also bought a pair of toe socks and 2 pairs of sheer black tights, so I can wear them under my short shorts for school. ^^

Since I have nothing better to do, I thought I'd do this:

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?

Yep yep. :)

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?

Sure!

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?

Probably yesterday.

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

Depends. If the person is handsome, especially. Hahah!

5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?

I sure hope not. :/

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?

What Makes You Beautiful - One Direction

7. What exactly are you wearing right now?

Shirt and shorts

8. How often do you listen to music?

Every single day.

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

Jeans

10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2012?

My life changes constantly. -.-

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

It depends. I can be both, depending on my mood.

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘B’?

LOLOL no!

13. What about ‘S’?

Nope.

14. Can you drive a stick shift?

Nope.

15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?

Yeah. That hurts.

16. Are you going out of town soon?

LOL no. -.-

17. When was the last time you cried?

Last Friday. Because my brother finished my favorite cookies. :(

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

Every single day. :)

19. If you could change your eye color, would you?

Yep, hazel. :)

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?

Apart from my Daddy, it would be my BF.

21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.

Not buying a pair of denim shorts that I saw just now. :(

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?

Absolutely!

23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?

My mum? Err no. -.-

24. What are you sitting on right now?

Computer chair. Like a boss.

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

Yep yep :)

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?

Yeah. :(

27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?

Mummy ♥

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

Yep yep.

29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?

Uhh flea market. -.-

30. Does anyone hate you?

Yep yep. :(

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?

Never.

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

OMG YES.

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

Eww no.

34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?

2009. Sec 4 sucks.

35. Did you have a dream last night?

Nope. ^^

36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?

Last night, right before I sleep. :)

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

Nope. I don't think I'll be ready by then.

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

LOLOL my BF? -.-

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?

I doubt so. :/

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

Yep, played with Eshan :)

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?

Yep yep

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?

Uhh I don't know?

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?

Yep yep. :)

44. What’s the best part about school?

Seeing the hot guys all around me. Hehe!

45. Do you have any pictures in your room?

Definitely.

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?

LOL yes.

47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?

All the time.

48. Were you single last year?

Nope nope.

49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?

Not at all. 2 years ago was hectic, but this year is kinda manageable I guess.

50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?

Nothing? Hehe ^^

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?

My brother? Yes.

52. Are you nice to everyone?

Nope.

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?

Yes!

54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

Yes, definitely.

55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?

I'm an expert at it.

56. Do you think you like someone?

I'm in love with my BF.

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘T’?

LOL no.

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?

Boys. Less drama.

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?

Yep yep.

60. Do you hate anyone?

Oh yes, right to the core.

61. How’s your heart?

Almost bursting with emotions I've been trying to hide from people.

62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

My loneliness back then.

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

Yep yep. :(

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?

My brother. Fucktard.

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

LOL no!

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

I hope not!

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?

OMG no. If he cries, it makes me cry too. :(

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?

LOLOLOL no. Skirt and pants unzipped, yes. -.-

69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?

Mummy.

70. How do you look right now?

Quite presentable, actually. :)

71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?

BF. :)

72. Can you commit to one person?

Absolutely.

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?

Yep yep.

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

Yeah, when friends forget about me after a while. It hurts. :'(

75. Did you wake up cranky?

Kinda. :/

76. Are you a jealous person?

Yep.

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

Definitely.

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

yeah 79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

Waiting to watch 'Friends With Benefits' with BF ^^

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

Vacuum the house. :(

81. Last person you cried in front of?

BF. :(

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

Yes, people I used to call 'friends'.

83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?

100% protective. :)

84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

Cuddling! ♥

85. Are you over your past?

Yes :)

86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?

Yes LOLOL. It was a stupid crush.

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?

No one. :(

88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?

I wouldn't consider my ex-BF to be my first true love. My current BF, maybe yes. And if he apologises in that manner, sure as hell I'll forgive him!

89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

LOLOL no, fuck that. I wanna sleep!

90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?

I don't think so.

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

Insya Allah, I'll still be in this current one. :)

92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?

LOL no.

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

Nope nope.

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

Yes. Still happily in love with him. :)

95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?

LOL yes.

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?

Mummy? Uhh yes.. *awkward*

97. Who do you have texts from?

98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?

I'd fucking cry a fucking river.

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

LOL my BF? -.-

100. Who’s in your handphone wallpaper with you?

BF and me. ^^

101. Ever kissed under fireworks?

Nope. I would love to!

102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?

Yep yep. ^^

Anticipation.

2011-10-10T11:15:00.001+08:00

Spent my Saturday in Little India. LOLOLOL. Mummy insisted on going to the Deepavali bazaar, and mygod, I nearly died there. It was so bloody crowded, I could barely breathe! And so many people stink. Urgh! I kept bugging her to leave the place, and after much persuading, she finally relented. Thank God!

Spent my Sunday with my family, my cousin & her husband, and their baby, Aisy Eshan! We went to Arab Street to buy cloths, to be made into baju kurung or kebaya for Abang Bob's upcoming wedding in December. Then we had lunch at Bushra Cafe, in which I consumed a drool-worthy plate of Beef Fried Rice. Awesome shitzx! Afterwards, we went to Ikea @ Tampines. Eshan was squealing with delight throughout, I don't know what's so funny! LOLOLOL. He rolled on the beds, hugged the soft toys and threw all the containers. -.- I only had to smile at him, and that would set him giggling. So cute! ^^

School starting next week, oh no. How I wish the semester break can be extended to another 10 weeks. I just don't want to meet crappy people. Eww.

Happy 35th! ♥

2011-10-07T15:19:00.000+08:00

Dug through my photo files, and found this! Haha, I still remember this photo very clearly. Taken at Science Centre's McDonald's last year, during the Fasting Month. We were waiting for the azan. Good times, good times.. Happy 35th Dear! Heheheh I can't wait for next month! I shall plan something, but currently I have no idea. But just wait till my brain pops with ideas!

Attended my little brother's Sports Carnival yesterday, and I truly miss being in my primary school (he attends the same primary school as I did). I had the coolest girlfriends ever: Afiqah, Sabrina & Syahindah. We were inseparable, LOL. But yeah, we're now scattered all over; Afiqah is Singapore Poly, Sabrina is in Republic Poly, whereas Syahindah is in Nanyang Poly. I miss you girls so much! :)

Leave Me Alone.

2011-10-03T19:10:00.000+08:00

I've had enough of your rude mouth. You think you're all that great? No, you're fucking not. So what if you have 2 upcoming chalet events? Do you have to brag about it? Do you think I even care? I don't. So what if you're surrounded by friends all the time? Does that make you great? I don't think so. You think I'm a loner? I admit, I don't have tons of friends, but I have friends that I know I can count on. Can you actually tell me if your friends even care about you? With your fucking rude mouth, I'd love to know how many people you've offended. I don't give a damn about your active social life, I couldn't give a fuck about it. I've had enough. You only know how to put me down, how to make me feel worthless. What kind of brother are you? Yes, you're my brother, but sometimes, I feel like just killing you. Your words hurt, god damn it. Do you know how many times I've cried because of your rude words? You've hurt my feelings so many times, do you know how much that sucks? You offend me like it's nothing, yet when I'm rude to you, you yell at me. What the fuck is wrong with you? Fuck this, damn it. Sometimes I pray you'll struggle in your upcoming O Levels. I don't care anymore. You've hurt me enough. The wound is too deep, and no matter what, apologies can't heal the hurt I feel inside on a daily basis. Don't fucking find me when you're in trouble, I won't be there for you anymore. You've spread rumors about me, I can't forgive you for that. Telling people that I smoke? Seriously?!

I SWEAR IN THE NAME OF ALLAH THAT I HAVE NEVER EVER SMOKED IN MY EIGHTEEN YEARS OF LIFE.

Fuck all this shit, man. I'm done.

Happy Sigh.

2011-10-02T15:36:00.002+08:00

Aww, he still makes me melt all the time. ♥

Little India.

2011-10-02T13:14:00.000+08:00

Look at what I've got! I bought a large packet of Hershey's Kisses! I'm gonna savor every moment of this ♥

Went to Little India yesterday with my family. It was hectic there, probably because of the upcoming Deepavali? There were lotsa things to see, and everything was colourful (great contrast, HEHEHE)! Pictures below:

I Will Not Be Defeated.

2011-10-01T14:41:00.000+08:00

You can take everything I have.

You can break everything I am.

Like I'm made of glass.

Like I'm made of paper.

Go on and try to tear me down,

I'll be rising from the ground like a skyscraper.

Let's Get Moving.

2011-09-30T19:08:00.001+08:00

I'm feeling so energized right now! Spent the afternoon working out, doing crunches, sit ups, push ups, and pilates. I was sweating profusely, but it feels so good! Gotta get back into shape for school and exercise more frequently. Must. Not. Gain. Weight. (no matter how much the BMI machine says I must gain weight. Fuck it)

And look at this adorable pair of ballet flats that I bought for only $5 yesterday! Cheap deals are the best. ♥

Singapore Science Centre

2011-09-29T21:55:00.000+08:00

Went to the Science Centre today with JingXin! Had so much fun, we were laughing like crazy at the displays. -.- I'm really exhausted right now, so let the photos do the talking, alright? There are so many more photos that I've yet to upload, but oh wells... :P

Me as a ghost. LOL

JingXin as a ghost. Speechless.

The mirror that made our legs looked super fat. Hideous!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

JingXin as a baby

Old JingXin

Me as a baby

Old Izra. Urgh!

I'm So Hungry.

2011-09-28T16:49:00.001+08:00

Staying at home makes me super hungry. I. Need. To. Stop. Eating.

You're So Cuddly.

2011-09-28T14:31:00.001+08:00

I can have so much fun with my Pooh! :) Pooh has always been there on nights where I cry myself to sleep, Pooh has been absorbing my tears. And I know Pooh will never judge me. :)

Was supposed to have a baking session today, but apparently, it's cancelled. Mummy has to attend to my cousin's fiancee, who is gonna come over to my house in an hour's time. Seems like she's having a huge problem with her fiance. Not a very good sign, as their wedding is fast approaching. Hope everything turns out okay. :)

Fright Night Was So Scary!

2011-09-27T20:59:00.000+08:00

Enjoy a pointless picture of me ^^

Watched Fright Night in the afternoon. Bloody scary shit. So many heart-stopping moments, I couldn't even concentrate on expressing my love to my salted popcorn. -.- Totally worth watching, it really scared me shitless. I've yet to watch Johnny English Reborn, must set aside a date for that. Oh oh, I wanna watch Friends With Benefits! Justin Timberlake is starring in that movie baby! ^^ That sexy man.. Damn it. XD

Teehee!

2011-09-26T21:59:00.003+08:00

Somebody save me. This man has stolen my heart, I'm totally drooling right now. Oh Ryan Gosling, MARRY ME BABY.

Currently chatting with Boyfriend online, and I'm expressing my love for salted popcorn to him. What is wrong with me. -.-

Scrub Scrub.

2011-09-26T13:45:00.001+08:00

Just finished tediously scrubbing my shoes clean! Look at how clean they are! :) Had nothing else to do, so decided to scrub my very-dirty shoes. It's been months since I last washed them, so you can just imagine how dirty they are!

Been bugging Mummy to buy me a new pair of sneakers before the new semester starts. hehehe. She complains that I own way too many shoes, and that I should be contented with what I have. Nevertheless, she agreed to get me a new pair, provided I split the shoes' cost into half with her. SIGH. At least it's better than nothing, right? I've been thinking of getting a new pair of Converse sneakers. I have always been in love with Converse sneakers, they're so comfy and versatile! But I still wanna try other brands of sneakers, maybe probably Vans? Hmm..

Bro's Birthday Photo Spam.

2011-09-24T12:53:00.000+08:00

My presents for my little bro. :)

Birthday Boy.

2011-09-23T11:43:00.002+08:00

My youngest brother turns 8 years old today! Decided to cam-whore with him. We're both still in our pyjamas, so that explains my hair. Haha! Will upload more photos of his mini birthday celebration, probably tonight or the next morning. Toodles! ♥

Either way, I'm stuck.

2011-09-22T11:36:00.003+08:00

Calculated my BMI for fun, and this was my results. Apparently, my BMI is 18.2, which puts me at low risk for cardiovascular diseases and type 2 diabetes. But just look at the other risks I'm exposed to! Nutritional deficiencies and osteoporosis? -.-

Woodlands Waterfront.

2011-09-21T18:27:00.002+08:00

Yep, spent the afternoon with JingXin at Woodlands Waterfront. Both of us got lost on the way there, thanks to me. I'm so bad at bus directions, tell me why. -.- The weather was rather annoying, kept alternating between humid and rain. But yeah, played the playground and chatted. We wanna have prom dates! Hehehe ♥ JingXin definitely knows who to bring along, and as for me, of course I'm dragging Boyfriend along! I hope they allow us to bring our dates, though. :( It's a magical night (as mentioned by countless teenage magazines) and I wanna experience it! Although I'm gonna focus on the food section the whole evening. Heh!

Came across several Secondary School students who behaved like total hooligans at the playground. They crowded in the playground's canopy, and a couple even went to a corner to make out with each other. Like, seriously? What is this shit, damn it? You're in your bloody school uniform, and you're so young! Groping each other's butts and kissing continuously in public? Seriously? -.- What's worse, they were shouting vulgarities (exactly like hooligans) and their girlfriends seemed to enjoy that. Err..? -.- If that was my Boyfriend, I'll definitely give him a hard slap. I'd be so ashamed to have such a rude boyfriend! What do these girls look for in their boyfriends anyway? Someone to shout vulgarities with and release sexual frustration with? Urgh. Standard of girls nowadays. Utterly disgusting and revolting!

I've Had Enough.

2011-09-20T22:08:00.001+08:00

I feel as though every single thing is affecting my mood. I hate feeling like this. I want to be genuinely happy. So many things are bothering me right now. Things that I've constantly pushed to the back of my mind. Things that I intend to forget. Things I don't even want to recall. It hurts. I feel I can't run away from my thoughts. Self-degrading thoughts. I constantly ask myself as to why I'm so tough on myself, but I don't even have the guts to answer that. I feel like no one is genuinely there for me. People disappear when I need them the most. I know if I tell them all my problems, they will shun away from me, leaving me alone to wallow myself in problems. I don't know who to turn to.

Rude brother. People who degrade my self-esteem. The overwhelming feeling of being unwanted. Loneliness. Desire to be surrounded by friends. Desire to be acknowledged. Desire to be appreciated and valued. Desire to overachieve. Hurtful words. Meaningless promises.

All these things are destroying myself, and I feel that I can barely take it any longer. I appear happy all the time, don't I? No one knows how much I struggle to be positive and put on a happy face. It hurts, do you know that? I am only human, after all. I have feelings. Don't you think that what you've said and done are hurtful? I'm tired of all these bloody shit. I wanna be happy, why can't I have that? Is it that hard? All these bloody motherfuckers are only fucking up my life. I've tried to not let these fuckers bring me down, but I have my limits. Have mercy on me, will ya? You don't have any idea what's going on with me, can you at least be kind and be mindful of my feelings? I'm so fragile, you don't even bother to realize that.

I'm crying right now, and I guess that's all I can do to comfort myself. I'm tired of crying, tired of trying to cope with things. I'm tired. Please. Don't hurt me anymore, fuckers. I've had enough. :'(

Today I Don't Feel Like Doing Anything.

2011-09-20T12:42:00.003+08:00

Ah, it's raining again! It's been raining rather frequently these days, huh? I love rainy days, because all I ever do is just cuddle up in bed with my teddies, a comfy blanket, and a good book. I'm currently reading Somebody's Crying by Maureen McCarthy. Very intriguing story! :) I was supposed to head over to school to submit several forms this afternoon, but looking at the weather, it's best if I postpone my plans.

Time to chillax! ♥

I'm Scared Shitless.

2011-09-19T20:25:00.000+08:00

Had lunch with JingXin at IMM's BaliThai last Saturday. Awesome food there! We stuffed ourselves with so much food, we could barely breathe afterwards. -.- But yeah, it was worth the money. Besides, we were there to celebrate our unexpected results (yay we did it!), so it was all worth it. ;)

After that went to Aisy Eshan's 1st Birthday party at Aloha Changi Resorts. Fantastic place, with a beautiful seaview. Stuffed myself further with barbecued food, I swear my poor tummy was gonna explode any time. Some pictures below:

Yep, that's my handsome birthday boy!

And today, I watched this absolutely horrific movie called Don't Be Afraid Of The Dark. Awesome shitzx. I was totally frightened, but surprisingly, Boyfriend wasn't afraid at all. What is wrong with me? -.- But honestly, it was super scary for me, I wanted to cry. -.- Give it a 9/10!

Put Up A Smile For Them.

2011-09-19T14:09:00.000+08:00

Out for a movie! Toodles ♥

Random Thought.

2011-09-18T12:53:00.000+08:00

People need to stop being so rigid. We're all in our youths, what exactly are you doing to make your youth days worth remembering? We're all turning into adults soon, what significant event has marked your youth? Rigidness will only restrict you to only a few options, and you'll miss out on what the world has to offer. Open up, and you'll experience the beautiful and amazing moments of life. You don't have much time left.
Pfft.

Pure Happiness.

2011-09-16T09:21:00.002+08:00

Alhamdulillah, something totally unexpected happened this morning. Checked my results, and I nearly fainted! I obtained a GPA of 3.95 for this semester! Which makes my cumulative GPA 3.7. I'm such a happy girl right now, because my GPA is back on track! I ran screaming for my mother and she was so delighted, and honestly, there's nothing more precious than seeing her so happy. ♥

Hardwork really pays off. Alhamdulillah. :)

Pointless.

2011-09-15T19:12:00.000+08:00

Enjoy a picture of me with my nose strip. Hahaha!

Make Do.

2011-09-15T15:27:00.005+08:00

Look at what I had for lunch today! Food was missing at home and all I could find was eggs. :( So decided to just cook scrambled eggs. Added a teaspoon of oil, a dash of salt, 2 beaten eggs and sprinkles of pepper and voila! My lunch is hot and ready to be eaten. Surprisingly filling, though! :) And the pictures above just give me an added reason to love my handphone's camera. Hehehe! Super clear, right? :)

I'm seriously bored! It's lazy days like this that I feel like working. But meh, today's my off day! Tried some fried chicken skin that Papa (Head Chef in that outlet) cooked last evening, and I must say it was awesome! Who knew that chicken skin is so delicious? Yes yes, I know chicken skin is unhealthy and blablabla, but Papa's fried chicken skin is irresistible! ♥

Borrowed several books from the library yesterday, and my current read is Falling In Love With English Boys by Melissa Jensen. I've only read through the first few pages of the novel, and it's already got me cracking up! :D

Imma Tired & Lazy Girl.

2011-09-12T11:20:00.002+08:00

I feel so worn out and tired today, I don't know why. I have work in the evening, not looking forward to it. Hehehe! Being a waitress is not easy okay? I have to sharpen my poor balance skills, and I don't like it. I am naturally clumsy, so can you imagine the amount of effort and control I have to put in to serve all the customers? :( On top of that, I have fever and a blocked/runny nose. I'm feeling terrible right now. :( I just wanna lay in my bed all day and rest. :(
I really need to get some time off to exercise! Been eating like a pig, and honestly, I think I've gained some weight. Heheh. I really need to stop wolfing down my food. Plus, I need to stop watching Princess Hours/Goong all day, and drag my butt down to the stadium track and do some running. -.- When can I ever find the motivation to exercise?

I Wanna Ruffle Your Hair.

2011-09-09T11:33:00.003+08:00

Just wanted to point how adorable his hair looks. Hehehe! Can't wait for November 24th! ♥

Crazy, Stupid, Love.

2011-09-08T20:10:00.001+08:00

This movie is so awesome! Watched it in the afternoon with Boyfriend and I was laughing my ass off the whole time. LOLOLOL. And this isn't just some pointless romantic comedy, it actually taught me a very important thing in love:

When you love someone or you think he/she is your soulmate, you don't give up. You must never give up. Show that person what he/she is really worth, and fight for your love. Don't let any setbacks stop you from being with the one you truly love.

I totally enjoyed the movie, and it gave me a deeper insight of love. In addition, RYAN GOSLING is STEAMING HOT. Been having a crush on him ever since I watched The Notebook, and now he looks unbearably hot. Hehehe!

First day of work tomorrow, and I have yet to find a pair of all-black shoes to wear to work. I'm seriously dead. Because I don't believe in paying $20 for a pair of shoes that makes me look like a typical Secondary School student. That's wayyyyy expensive! Besides, all-black shoes are super ugly/hideous/horrendous/unsightly, which only makes it even more unappealing and not worthy of $20. I need to find a cheaper pair, probably $10. Haha! I'm such a cheapo. -.-

I don't know what to expect for work tomorrow! Boyfriend says I must focus on 3 things:

Don't act stupid
Don't be clumsy
Smile always

It wouldn't be much of a problem, but I have to admit, I can be very stupid sometimes. Okay, maybe most of the time. I'm super blur and it's really difficult to obtain my 100% attention. Next, I am very clumsy. I don't know why, but I just am. I knock and bump into things even if they're in my face. Save me, please. :( I wouldn't have to worry about the smiling part, LOL. I'm always up for a smile! :D Hopefully everything goes well tomorrow. Please please please!

Come On, Impress Me!

2011-09-06T18:11:00.000+08:00

Before I go on, let me make this clear, I am no K-Pop fan. Really I'm not. -.- Never did find anything interesting in them. However, I remember watching a few episodes of this Korean drama (Princess Hours OST) on Channel U a couple of years ago. It was superbly touching, and I suddenly feel like watching the whole series again, since I missed the beginning and middle parts. I guess this will be the only Korean drama series that is worth watching, as it's entirely original, and many Korean dramas are too predictable nowadays. So I'll probably be absorbed in this drama series for a couple of days. Teehee! XD

I Hope My Optimism Lasts.

2011-09-05T21:42:00.001+08:00

So yep, above are the photos taken yesterday! Mostly us posing around. LOL. Was so busy entertaining Aisy Eshan, my God, he's so active! Kept squirming around when we're in the car, and giggled when we tickled him. How cute ♥ Unfortunately, had to go home early, as he vomited on his Daddy, and his Daddy's shirt was stained with vomit. -.-

Look at that cheap yet scrumptious meal I got at Naked Fish Express this afternoon! A meal like that (breaded fish and chicken, with large fries and a cup of iced lemon tea) costs $4.40, and I can safely say that the food is awesome. :) In addition to that, scored a job as a service crew at an F&B outlet. I shall not disclose it here, people will stalk me at work. -.- Anyway, went to buy 2 black polo shirts and a pair of skinny-fit jeans at Hang Ten, since black is the main dress code for work. Looking back at my previous F&B traumatic experience, I'm trying so hard to be optimistic. Hopefully, I'll actually genuinely enjoy my time there, Insya Allah. :)

Blackheads Blackheads, Go Away!

2011-09-04T12:57:00.003+08:00

Urgh, just look at those horrible blackheads derived from my nose strip! I really need to find an effective way of getting rid of these annoying blackheads, apart from using nose strips.

Gonna get ready for a Raya Outing later! Hehehe. So expect a photo spam soon, probably tomorrow morning! ♥

Hammy Hammy Ham Ham ~

2011-09-03T13:45:00.002+08:00

Aren't my hamsters the most adorable things ever? Heheh. I love them all so much, and every single one of them has their own habits. Some love crawling under cramped spaces, others love isolating themselves from others. And all of them are oh-so-fat! Hehehe ^^

And just look at Mummy's Sambal Goreng Pengantin! Yummy yummy! I swear my mum's the best cook ever ♥

Flashbacks.

2011-09-02T14:39:00.001+08:00

I miss the good times we spent together, laughing our butts off. I miss playing on the playgrounds at West Coast Park with you. I miss having long walks with you (me whining all the way LOL) at East Coast Park. I miss laughing uncontrollably when we discovered our pants are filled with sand after laying on the seaside like a boss. I miss fighting with you over who gets to control the 2-riders bike when we're at East Coast Park. I miss screaming in fear when you pulled me onto the trampoline outside the Science Centre and jumped around like a lunatic. I miss pressing buttons and touching displays with you when we're at the Science Centre. I miss watching movies with you. I miss fighting over popcorn and drinks with you. I miss having lunch sessions at MacDonald's with you. I miss taking long bus rides with you. I miss going on occasional whole-day dates with you.

We barely have time for all these anymore, right Syg? I really miss all those good times together. I miss going on fun, playful dates with you, where we'd just make fun of each other all day long. :) Hopefully, we'll get to do all these together again, when our schedules permit us. Till then, take care of yourself. You're always in my thoughts. I love you. ♥

Irritability

2011-09-01T22:39:00.001+08:00

I guess things can't always go the way I want it to, huh? Urgh, I'm just being upset over a slight matter. Get over it Izra, minor things like this shouldn't upset you.

Nailed a job interview for this upcoming Monday, at some F&B restaurant. I'm being a nervous twat right now. That's because I suck at interviews. :( I tend to be an anxious wreck and babble nonsense to my interviewer. Oh gosh. I need to obtain interview skills!

Oh whatever. I'm still upset. I guess I'll just go wallow in misery and switch to self-loathing mode. Story of my life.

Final Destination 5

2011-08-31T22:06:00.002+08:00

I wanna watch Final Destination 5! Heard that the movie is gory/horrific, so I wanna watch it. I'll most probably end up close to tears/chickened out in my seat, but isn't that what horror/gory movies are supposed to do to you? :D Anyway, asked Boyfriend if he wanted to watch the movie with me, and he's too frightened to watch. LOL. I shall find a way to drag him there!

Oh by the way, met Qaisurah at NTUC last Saturday/Sunday at NTUC (LOLOLOLOL) on accident. I miss you so much girl! This goes out to you!

All the best for your Prelims and your upcoming A Levels, I know you can do it! Make me proud okay? ♥

Raya 2011 Photo Spam!

2011-08-30T21:07:00.008+08:00

Photo spam for now! It's orange and black for the first day of Raya, baby! Totally rocked, spending time with my family and cousins was really awesome to the max. :D

The 5 united cousins ♥

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I have no idea why our faces looked so blue. -.-

That's it for now. I'm totally exhausted. -.-

2011-08-29T22:32:00.002+08:00

Alhamdulillah, tomorrow is the first day of Syawal. :) Oh, how I love the Hari Raya atmosphere! ♥ Relatives and friends gather around, menyambut hari kemenangan.

However, in the midst of happiness, the thought of my late Aunt has brought tears to my eyes. Hari Raya has never been the same, ever since she passed away 5 years ago. She was like a mother to me, so caring, thoughtful and loving. She will always be in my prayers, and there are times where I wish she would just come alive just for one day, to celebrate Hari Raya with her children, siblings, nieces and nephews, and her 11-month old grandson, whom she didn't get a chance to see and hold :( Whatever it is, I hope her soul is at rest, moga-moga dia ditempatkan di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman. :)

Will upload Hari Raya photos, probably the day after tomorrow. Till then,

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri, Minal Aidil Wal Faizin. :)

2011-08-09T11:34:00.002+08:00

What a bloody flirt. Memang menguji kesabaranku pada bulan puasa nie. Sabar Izra! GRRRR.

Kalau ikutkan hati, nak aje aku ketuk pintu rumah kau sekarang, kasi penampar sikit kat muka kau tu. KNNCBBBBBBBB.

2011-08-07T07:32:00.002+08:00

I. am. so. drained.

Come on, Izra. It's nearly over. Get up and strive on. Don't you ever give up. :(

On the bright side, I bought a kebaya in the most gorgeous hue of blue. HEHEHEHEHEH. ^^

2011-07-29T23:31:00.005+08:00

Had a busy yet fruitful week, as usual. I'm so glad I'm clearing my assignments one by one, now I'm left with the Guidebook and the ultimate assignment ever, I.T Group Assignment. I'm gonna have hell completing it, so I'm all prepared. Bring on the bullshit.

Just some random webcam photos taken in the library yesterday.

P.S: MY HAIR SERIOUSLY CAN'T MAKE IT. -.-

Heading to the Flea Market at *Scape tomorrow with Jing Xin. SHOPPING! ♥

2011-07-27T20:20:00.002+08:00

I NEED PATIENCE. I CANNOT HANDLE SUCH STUPID STUFF AND I CANNOT STAND BLURR AND STUPID PEOPLE. WHY DO THESE PEOPLE EVEN EXIST IN THIS WORLD. I WANT TO FUCKING SCREAM, I JUST CAN'T HAVE A SMOOTH JOURNEY HUH?

FUCK MY LIFE, I'VE LOST MY CONTROL ALREADY. I JUST WANT TO SLAM YOU INTO THE WALL AND PUNCH YOU TILL YOU BLEED!

KNNCB.

2011-07-24T13:40:00.003+08:00

That still doesn't make me feel better.

I'm supposed to be doing my observation and analysis report right now, but I'm so darn lazy. I can't help it! It's a fine Sunday afternoon, and everyone's lazing around. I HAVE NO LIFE. :( I guess I'll be working on these 2 reports in the evening. I'm not in the mood to think anyway.

Anyway, I just bought a pair of skinny jeans for only $10. Cheap or what? HEHEHEHEH ^^. I'm a happy girl. :)

Lately, whenever I check the time, I've been seeing a lot of 11:11. What does that supposed to mean? I know they say you are to make a wish when you see that timing, but seeing 11:11 on your clock always? That's creepy. :(

2011-07-23T23:00:00.002+08:00

So many things to do, so little time for it.

I am so exhausted! Cleared 2 assignments in this week, and not to mention, all the suay-ness I have to go through on a daily basis. I'm literally putting myself out there to die. SERIOUSLY. I've been completely lifeless for the past few weeks, I can't remember what it's like to chill. :(

2 more major assignments left before exams greet me. WALAO EH. :(

Induction ceremony this Thursday. I really hope to see my Emeralds on that day. I MISS YOU GUYS SO FREAKING BADDDDDDDDDD. ♥

2011-07-22T19:01:00.001+08:00

Sooner or later, this has to end.

2011-07-20T07:43:00.004+08:00

She's my one and only Mum and I love her with all my heart. My mum has been through a lot in her life, and she inspires me to study hard and prove all those snobbish people wrong. She loves me no matter how many mistakes I've done in the past, she refuses to see me differently. I admire her strength, patience and love, and that's something I wanna possess when I have children of my own in the future. I find comfort and security when she's around, I find joy and laughter when she jokes about the littlest things. She irritates me with her singing, I irritate her with my cheekiness. After all, I'm her only daughter. :) We both love shopping sprees and best of all, we're both strong and determined women. ♥

She's turning 39 today, may Allah bless her life. Because more than anyone else on this Earth knows, I know she deserves better than this. She deserves to smile every single day. I will make you proud, I promise. ♥

2011-07-19T23:14:00.002+08:00

You think you know me, but I guess you really don't. I thought by now, you'll know me from head to toe. But I guess you don't. I am really sick of every single thing that is going on in my life right now. As if I don't already have so many things to think about on a daily basis. No one knows how I'm falling apart inside, bit by bit.

On the bright side, Ramadan is fast approaching. I can't hardly wait for it. :) The beautiful and holy month of Ramadan never fails to put my distressed self into a serene state. That's something that I really need in this very moment.. :(

2011-07-17T19:55:00.002+08:00

Currently snacking on this. Best old-fashioned snack ever! ♥

I've been eating a lot lately, I swear I'm gaining weight. Oh well. At least I don't have hideous chunky fats. :D And with the humid weather nowadays, ice cream has been my best friend. Been eating it every single day. I am still so hungry, why oh why am I like this? :( I should control my food cravings but I can't. God, I hate this.

Anyway, I've been doing a lot of arm exercises lately. I'm gonna have strong arms soon, and maybe I'll finally have a chance to beat Boyfriend in our arm-wrestling sessions. I ALWAYS LOSE, and that's not fair at all!

This is pointless. I should go back to completing my assignments for now. Jiayou Izra! You can do it! I AM BARELY SURVIVING. -.- Just remember, August is coming soon. HEHEHEHEH ♥

2011-07-12T22:42:00.002+08:00

Do you just have to give me a hard time? Can't we all just get this done and over with fast? I have so many other things to do, I HAVE MY FIELD SUPERVISION TOMORROW, and you're still not done yet. WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN DOING THESE PAST FEW DAYS? I am so bloody tired of everything!

I don't like to curse, but seriously, you asked for it, goddamnit. KNNCB.

You're already pushing my buttons, I suggest you back off now and get lost. You don't wanna test my patience, you'd regret it.

2011-07-10T20:59:00.002+08:00

I ship the both of them so hard, it hurts. ♥

Anyway, I AM TIRED. Just finished doing my lesson preparation and finalized my observation notes. So many things to do, so little time to get it done. I'm barely hanging on! I'm bloody broke, lifeless and exhausted. Who knew Semester 2.1 would be this challenging? And if you say that I'm overreacting, it only shows how much effort you put in for your assignments. 'Cause I always give my best. ;)

The only thing that keeps me going for these last few weeks of school is this upcoming August. Just thinking about it is enough to drive me insane, in a good way. ;) I can barely wait for August! HEHEHEHEHEHEHEH. *wink wink*

2011-07-06T20:47:00.002+08:00

I HAVE NO LIFE. ALL I EVER DO IS COMPLETING MY ENDLESS AMOUNT OF ASSIGNMENTS. CAN HOLIDAYS COME SOONER PLEASE? I AM BARELY HANGING ON. I'M BLOODY SLEEPY AND TIRED AND GRUMPY AND IRRITATED, I JUST WANT TO SCREAM. THIS SEMESTER IS KILLING ME.

Sorry for the capital letters. I'm just so tired and irritated right now. Anyway, I have just set up my Math Learning Corner and it looks so cozy, with the addition of cushions and a comfortable carpet for them. I'm so proud of myself. HEHEHE. Zakiah and Leying were gushing about how comfortable and cozy my Math Corner is. HEHEHE. It took a lot of hard work, okay? I discussed everything thoroughly with Miss Ima and I will be eternally grateful to her for her priceless tips and help. Had so much fun moving the furniture together, discussing and gossiping about stuff, and just interacting with each other. God, she's the best. ♥

2011-06-28T18:01:00.003+08:00

I am in such a happy mood. LALALALALALA ~

Had so much fun girl-talking with JingXin at Bukit Batok after school today. We talked about so much stuff. Shall not disclose it here, it shall be between us two, alright? ;)

Met up with Boyfriend for a while after that. He bought me a Mickey Mouse soft toy and a silk summer dress. I love it so much! The silk dress felt so soft in my hands, I fell in love with it instantly. And it fits me so perfectly. Thanks so much Syg ♥ Oh oh, and a HAPPY ADVANCED 19TH BIRTHDAY TO YOU! My boy is getting older each day, huh? Chase your dreams, I'll be by your side always.

Here we go, come with me.

There's a world out there that we should see.

Take my hand, close your eyes.

With you right here, I'm a rocketeer, let's fly. ♥

P.S. I MISS MY FELLOW EMERALDS! ♥

2011-06-24T22:14:00.002+08:00

At the end of the day, only you can make me smile like this. Just a simple SMS from you cheered me up, asking me if I want you to call me 'baby'. How adorable can you get, my dear? :) Sigh. ♥

Those 2 days had shaken me. I'm glad I attended, I regret nothing. But I didn't expect it to turn out this way. Such strong feelings...

2011-06-24T09:09:00.002+08:00

I had a restless sleep last night. So many things were going through my mind, and I guess what many people had said is true: Never listen to the voices in your head at night. They're your worst enemy. The voices kept haunting me all night, and all I wanted to do was to just scream. I've never felt this afraid, ever. I did a thorough self-reflection last night, whilst listening to the wild voices screaming inside my head.

Seriously, am I selfish for wanting the best for my future? Am I greedy for wanting to be well-off in the future? Am I kiasu for wanting to strive for the best in everything that I do? Growing up in a family who struggles to make ends meet, I know how important money is. I know how powerful this five-letter word can be. Money can practically buy everything, only a hypocrite would deny that. Yes, money can even buy love.

Oh come on, this is the modern world, everything revolves around money. You need money to survive. You need money to get by your life. You need money for all the worldly things. And to be frank, I don't want to settle for anything average. I want to feel what it's like to have money for all the things that I wish to own. More importantly, I want to give the best to my future children. I want to give them everything that I wasn't able to own when I was a kid. Am I being selfish because of that? Am I selfish for desiring something that I've never experienced before?

I know I have to think things over. I have to ignore these insane voices in my head. But when I searched for answers in my heart, I found nothing. It's as though my heart is trying to tell me to use my brains and common sense this time. Sooner or later, I have to decide. On what I really want. On what I really need. On what is best for me.

Dear Allah,

Enlighten me on all my doubts. I really don't know what to do anymore. It's as though my heart and brain is going through a raging war. I've never felt so confused before. I have no idea as to what I want, and what I need. I feel so lost, and I can't get myself out of this heart-wrenching maze. I just want to scream. Please get rid of these nasty voices in my head. I can't listen to it anymore, it's driving me insane. Or are all these voices only voicing out what has been silent in my heart throughout these years? Guide me in this difficult situation, only You know what's best for me.

2011-06-22T13:48:00.002+08:00

With you by my side, we're unstoppable.

I didn't realize how tired my eyes looked until I looked into the mirror last night, right before sleep. Oh god. My eyes were sunken, and my eye-bags looked horrible. My lips were slightly chapped, and my face looked worn out. To be frank, I looked lifeless. I guess I can say that my sleeping schedule is rather fucked up. I can't sleep on random nights, no matter how much I toss and turn in my bed. And on those sleepless nights, images of my life flash through my mind. And then I'll start thinking of my life, of the hurtful past, and the unknown future. It gets to the point where I will always end up crying, because I get scared.

That's right. I get scared. I'm so quietly insecure about every single thing in my life. I'm afraid that my loved ones (especially my family) will leave me one day, I'm afraid of the unknown future. I don't know what to expect, and sometimes the past haunts me. And then regret starts settling in. If only I had done this, if only I had done that. I'm afraid of changes in my life, I'm afraid of meeting new people. I don't trust people easily, and if you are one of those lucky ones who have gained my trust, please don't ever break it. I'm so fragile inside, yet so physically strong. I'm so emotionally weak inside, yet never fails to put on a smile for everyone (except for the hated people, of course!). I'm afraid of losing everything that I have right now, and I'm afraid of letting new people into my life.

I get so insecure, it drives me insane sometimes.

2011-06-21T20:28:00.002+08:00

Just came back from one of the best camps that I have ever attended: Special Needs Camp!

It was AWESOME, can? I love the games so much! :) But what makes the camp so fun was Emerald team. I totally adore my group so much! We bonded and got along with each other well and it really lifted up our camp spirits. And of course not forgetting the best and most awesome Group Leaders ever, Fabian & Firdaus. ♥♥♥

I wanna rewind everything and go through the two days all over again! I thoroughly enjoyed myself and I totally wasn't expecting that. :) Only someone knows why I love the camp so much, right JingXin? ;) HEHEHE!

Met Boyfriend after the camp and he showered me with so many kisses on the cheeks and forehead. Heheh. I miss being bear-hugged by you. ♥